Judging
Today I shall judge
nothing that occurs,
and throughout the day
I will remind myself not to judge.
~Deepak Chopra
Try to imagine a day without judging.
A day without sizing people up, without
projecting your own morality on the rest of the world.
What would it be like to
simply experience life, others, and ideas without taking premature mental
positions?
Can we perceive without judging and categorizing our perceptions? If we could simply choose to not judge, what would life be like? Would we experience it differently?
Can we simply choose not to judge?
As a child I remember one of the first spiritual concepts that I was
taught was not to judge. I had no idea what that meant. In fact, I asked my
nine-year-old twin daughters what it means to judge. They didn't know what it
meant but they knew that you shouldn't do it. This is a concept that I
personally continued to try and live and also teach until a couple of years ago
when I realized that I, and everyone I knew, judged all of the time.
We judge.
Yes, that is what we as human beings do.
It is almost as if there is a part of us that has been given the full-time job of judging. Can we fire this part of us?
If we could,would want to?
Although, we are consistently labeling and categorizing the people and events in our life,
many of us hold the awareness of the suffering and separation that our
judgments can create. Thus, the admonition to stop judging abounds in our
religious texts, in the classroom, our homes and even on the social networking
sites. As soon as we began to label another as “judgmental” our hypocrisy is
being revealed. Even the popular catch phrase
“don't judge” alludes to layers of prejudgment.
In my experience, you can't just tell yourself not to judge and expect that you will
able to do it. It may in fact cause a lot of frustration to try to enforce that
upon you. The ability to suspend
judgments or to relinquish them comes through a leap of consciousness. When one realizes that the prejudices they hold cause them pain, not the people or events that they are judging.
There are things that you can do to begin to develop the ability to suspend
judgment. But beware, you will fail.
With that being said, it can be a great benefit to learn some simple skills.
First of all, allow your judgments. Yes, that
is right. There is no need to judge your judgments. Simply notice them. Notice
to whom you have a tendency to judge. Write down your judgments. Question
whether or not they are accurate. Ask yourself if what you are seeing and
judging in another is also in you. The virtue of humility precedes the ability
to suspend judgment.
Practice being fully present, which means to stop thinking about the past or worrying about
the future. Simply be whenever you are and whomever you are with fully. Listen
inventively and communicate authentic thoughts and feelings. Another useful
practice is to bring your attention to what you are feeling in your body and
notice your breathing. This is an instant way of getting out or your head. To answer
the question:
What would it be like to simply experience life, others, and
ideas without taking premature mental positions?
In my experience the answer
is, blissful. For the periods of time that I have been able to suspend judgment
and instead be fully present with the people in my life I have found it to be
an amazingly peaceful experience. I have noticed that when I am not judging, it
is easy to fully enjoy and appreciate my life.
